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Dexter's Boles seeks normalcy after cancer battle, appreciates support of community
The Boles family will never forget their annual trip to Evansville, Indiana, in early July 2018.
Dexter junior Ryder Boles made a startling discovery while in the bathroom of his family’s hotel room.
“I kind of felt something there, a lump or something,” Ryder said. “I just notified my parents. It was like there’s something there. I don’t just want to leave it alone. I want to know if it’s actually something or not.”
Ryder’s father, Eric, said he will never forget that night.
“We were on vacation. He called me into the hotel bathroom and said, ‘Dad, I’ve got something wrong,’ ” Eric said. “I didn’t tell him. It scared me to death. I teach anatomy and physiology. I know what I’m looking at.”
Boles and his wife Kristi — both teachers and tennis coaches in the Dexter school system — felt powerless.
“When you see your kid lying in a hospital bed and he can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t get comfortable and it’s day after day after day. He loses his hair, loses weight, can’t do the things he loves to do. … Nothing you can do,” Eric said.
“There were some days there where it was tough on me, and it was tough on my wife. We didn’t make it visible, I don’t think, as much as we might have. We didn’t let him know. He was having a hard enough time dealing with the cancer.”
Ryder saw Dr. Cory Blocker, a pediatrician in Dexter, who recommended he go to St. Louis where he was diagnosed with stage two testicular cancer.
“He was diagnosed with the most common type of cancer seen in males ages 18-25. It’s not uncommon for a kid his age to have it,” Eric said. “It’s typically very treatable if you catch it in time. I think if he would’ve waited a week, it wouldn’t have been stage two cancer. It might’ve been stage three or stage four. That’s how fast it travels.
“Kudos to him for being self aware enough to say, ‘hey there’s something wrong.’ We’ve been told a lot of kids don’t tell their parents until it is too late. Then it’s beyond having surgery to remove the tumor and four rounds of chemo. It’s eight rounds of chemo, 16 rounds of chemo and maybe radiation.”
Ryder underwent three surgeries and four rounds of chemotherapy over a period of several months at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. The tumor was removed in one surgery, a port from where his chemotherapy drug would be delivered was installed and the final surgery removed the port.
“Kristi and I were driving back and forth. We’re literally tag-teaming,” Eric said. “I’d take him up and stay up there for three days. She comes up … and she stays up there three days because his treatments were six, seven days at a shot. He was up there a whole week taking treatment.
“Then he was home for a whole week recovering, and then he was at school for a week. We just kept repeating that process over and over again.”
In all, Ryder said he missed about a full quarter of school.
“I was basically home-schooled,” Ryder said. “I was helped out by (Dexter teacher) Kurt Lovelady. He brought a lot of work home, helped me through it. I could do a lot of work at home.
“I’d be at school for a week and I’d have to be home-schooled again. It was kind of hard.”
Ryder’s chemotherapy ended in time for the start of basketball season, although he missed his first game because his port was removed that day.
Ryder struggled with endurance all season.
“It was terrible because last year, the years before that, I could usually get through a lot of the drills,” Ryder said. “This last year, I had to stop frequently. I just couldn’t do everything that everybody else could. It was annoying.”
Ryder moved on to tennis in the spring when he played No. 4 singles and No. 2 doubles with teammate Logan Wyman. The pair advanced to the sectional round of the playoffs and finished one win short of qualifying for state.
“Tennis was a good season,” Ryder said. “I definitely felt a lot better. It had been awhile since my last treatment. I’d been getting back into shape.”
Eric, who was Ryder’s tennis coach, said that Ryder’s conditioning struggles were evident at times during the season.
“The beginning was tough,” Eric said. “You could really see it when we played in tournaments. We played in the Poplar Bluff tournament, the Farmington tournament. We played in the SEMO doubles tournament, the SEMO Conference tournament. On those days where we had to play multiple matches … he could get through the first two rounds of the tournament and be in place to medal, but he couldn’t finish. He was so weak. He medaled three or four times when he got third or fourth place. If it’s a two-day tournament, he might have got first or second.”
His father saw a difference in him as the season progressed.
“Toward the end of the season, when he got second in district in doubles and he qualified for sectionals, you could really see his stamina coming back,” Eric said. “It’s still not there. They say another six months — if not longer — before it’s back completely. The chemotherapy really did a number on his lungs. That’s what he’s still recovering from. He looks nice and healthy now, but there’s still a long way to go.”
Community support
Eric said that Ryder received a lot of support from his friends.
“He’s had a lot of support from his basketball buddies,” Eric said. “Carter Dorton and Peyton Driskill and Riley Slusher and Andrew Ellinghouse, those guys were at the house all the time, cheering him up, keeping his spirits up. … We had some pretty rough days during chemo cycles.”
While in the hospital, he was visited by members of the St. Louis Cardinals organization and some famous authors.
“That’s something they do regularly,” Eric said. “They did the same thing when he was there. Relief pitcher Mike Myers came and visited him. Fredbird came and visited. Even one game, the umpires came to visit him. That’s something that they do. Nobody sees other than by people in the hospital.”
The visitors make a difference, according to Eric.
“You could see a distinct change in him on the days when he had visitors and the days he didn’t,” Eric said. “It was a lot rougher on those days when nobody was there. You just sit there and think what the possibilities are.”
The family received financial support from the school and community. The Hits for Hope middle school volleyball match contributed money for his cancer treatment. The cross country team raised money for his treatments through a 5K.
“18 Fore Life, they’re always taking care of locals who are suffering from cancer and cancer treatments,” Eric said. “The schools raised money with jean days and hat days. The high school did things everyday one week to help Ryder.”
Ryder appreciates all the support.
“It was awesome,” Ryder said. “It felt great. Everybody just contributing, helping me. I loved it. It was great.”
The Boles are helping other cancer patients financially. The boys tennis team held a Courts for Cancer match that raised money for a Bloomfield teacher, who’s dealing with stage four cancer.
The Boles received a lot of support from the community. At least a hundred different families gave personal donations and cards, and sent food and games to their house.
“Without families coming by and bringing food, getting cards from restaurants, you just don’t think about that stuff,” Eric said. “We didn’t have to worry about cooking dinner.”
T-shirts were made and sold to support Ryder. They included slogans like “Fighting cancer takes balls,” “No one fights alone” and “Ryder strong.”
Ryder’s younger brother, Peyton, benefited from the support of the school district.
“The support from the middle school was huge because my other son (Peyton) stayed here and nothing changed for him,” Eric said. “That’s a big deal. It could’ve been really bad for him as well. You wouldn’t have ever known because they were good with him, the school teachers. Both of my boys are good students. (Ryder’s) 4.0 and No. 1 in his class. That’s hard to do. My other son is 4.0 as well. That doesn’t happen without teachers, administrators, friends taking care of us as a family.”
What’s ahead
Ryder goes to St. Louis every three months for a checkup. After his next trip, he hopes he won’t need a checkup for six months and eventually a year.
“We’re looking for it to be back to normal, just like it used to be,” Ryder said.
Ryder practiced with the basketball and tennis teams this summer, which helped him rebuild his conditioning.
As far as athletics, he has set some goals for the upcoming season.
“Tennis wise, hopefully get past sectionals with (Logan Wyman) in doubles,” he said. “In basketball, win as many games as we can and win the Bloomfield Christmas Tournament.”